


Green Heart

by Pline



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Bisexual Evan "Buck" Buckley, Coming Out, First Kiss, Hen Is The Best, Jealous Eddie Diaz, Love Confessions, M/M, Sexuality Crisis, oblivious eddie diaz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-03-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:47:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23175655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pline/pseuds/Pline
Summary: Buck starts seeing a man.Eddie worries he is being a bigot, because the idea of Buck kissing another man makes him want to punch someone.What else could it be?
Relationships: Eddie Diaz & Henrietta "Hen" Wilson (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 48
Kudos: 781





	Green Heart

**Author's Note:**

> This is for May, I hope you like it!!
> 
> I am on tumblr [@bilbobagglns](https://bilbobagglns.tumblr.com/)

“Thank you for saving me,” the man – Pete – says with a blinding smile. “You’re my hero.”

Buck hears Chim snort but he doesn’t pay him attention.

Peter is cute, Buck has to admit. He’s got dimples, beautiful green eyes, but more than that, he has a great sense of humor.

Ever since the team has arrived to get him out of the broken down elevator, he has been cracking up jokes, taking the whole thing in stride with levity and patience.

“It’s a team effort,” Buck replies, though he can’t help the small smile of his own.

“And you’re modest, too,” Pete says, touching Buck’s arm. “You’re too good to be true.”

They are standing very close, and Buck knows that he should get moving. Their call is over, Pete won’t even need to get to the hospital, but –

But he’s been pining after Eddie for so long. Maybe going on a date will help him get over his longing.

(He knows it won’t.)

Sometimes he thinks that Eddie loves him back – the way he looks at him, the touches – but Eddie never makes a move, never flirts back.

_Well, I’d still take you._

_You think so?_

_I know._

This was blatant flirting, and Eddie had done nothing with it. Buck is beginning to think that maybe it means that Eddie is just not interested.

“Buck, we’ve gotta go,” Bobby calls, amusement loud in his voice.

“Yeah, I’ll be right behind you, Cap’.”

“Here.” Pete gets a receipt from his pocket, a pen from the front pocket of his bag, and hurries to scribble something on it. “Call me.”

“I will,” Buck promises, taking a look at the number, before he looks up and winks at him.

Pete laughs. As the team leaves the scene, Buck catches Pete throwing him a kiss, and he finds himself laughing too.

* * *

“He’s cute,” Hen says as the truck starts.

“Yeah,” Buck replies. “I got his number.”

Hen and Chim exchange a look.

“You gonna call him?” Chim asks.

“I think so, yeah.”

Another look.

“Okay, what’s up?” Buck caves in. “Has he said something weird to you guys? Because if he’s like a racist, I’m not gonna go on a date with him.”

Both of them shake their heads.

“No, no, it’s nothing like that,” Chim admits. “We, hm. I mean – ”

“We didn’t know you were into guys,” Hen cuts.

Buck frowns.

“Are you sure?” he asks. “’Cause I’m pretty sure I talked about it. Remember when I was seeing Casey? I told you guys about it.”

“Casey’s a dude?”

“Not my fault you assumed it was a girl,” Buck says, feeling offended. “Also, how dare you assume I was straight? Wait. Do I look straight?”

Hen snickers, “You’re right. Our bad. We should have known someone as dramatic as you could not be straight.”

“Thank you.”

Buck turns to Eddie, wanting to share his indignation with his friend. His words die in his throat as his gaze falls on him.

Eddie is looking ahead, ignoring everything around him.

Buck frowns, but his attention is soon caught by his captain.

“So you’re bisexual?” Bobby asks from the driving seat, sounding unsure he should even be asking the question.

“Huh, yeah,” Buck replies, tearing his eyes away from Eddie. “Yeah, I’m bi.”

“That’s great,” Bobby says, and Buck can’t see his face but he knows he is smiling. “I’m glad you’re comfortable enough with us to – ”

Buck groans, dropping his head back.

“Please,” he begs. “Let’s not do this. It’s fine, it’s no big deal.”

“It _is_ a big deal. It’s part of who you are, and I want you to know that you’re accepted and loved.”

Buck can pretend all that he wants to be annoyed, he knows he is fooling no one. Bobby’s little speech actually means a whole lot to him, and if he melts a little in his captain’s embrace afterwards, that’s nobody’s business but his own.

Now, all would be good, if only Eddie could look at him.

He flees as soon as they get back to the station, not talking to anyone.

“What’s his deal?” he asks, more to himself than anything else.

When no one answers him, he sets after Eddie, determined to get to the bottom of this.

He finds Eddie upstairs. He is standing in front of the fridge, door unopened, and just glaring at it.

“You’re okay, man?” Buck calls.

Eddie startles.

“It’s nothing,” he says, and he gives Buck a contrite smile.

“Is it – ” Buck can’t bring himself to say it, but he forces the words out anyway. “Is it because it’s a guy?”

“No,” Eddie rushes to say, and Buck does want to believe him, but it’s just a bit too rushed, too high. “No, I swear, Buck. This isn’t even about you or him or anything, I’m just in a bad mood because – I’m tired.”

It’s a lie. Eddie is hiding something from him. But maybe it’s true that his shift in mood has nothing to do with Buck. Maybe it is a coincidence.

Eddie has never shown any bigotry – Buck wants to believe that he is not about to start now.

“You know you can talk to me, right? About whatever is bothering you.”

Eddie’s soft smile in return manages to crush any lingering doubt. If he had any problem with Buck being bi, he wouldn’t smile at him like that.

His heart skips a beat, and he has to remind himself that Eddie does not care about him like that.

“I know. Thank you, man.”

They move on from it.

Or so Buck thinks.

* * *

Buck goes on a date with Pete.

And another.

And another.

Soon, they’re a _thing._

Eddie hates it.

Every time Buck mentions Pete, Eddie feels his blood boiling and the sudden need to punch something.

And he hates himself for it, because he should not have a problem with Buck dating a guy. Buck can date anyone he wants. Sure, he did not know about Buck’s sexuality before, but that does not change anything.

So why is Eddie so angry about it?

He has never had any issue with anyone’s dating life. One of his childhood best friend is gay, and that has never been an issue, even back at thirteen when Aaron came out.

Eddie has stood by him and supported him ever since.

They spent all their time together growing up, even sharing a bed a few times. Eddie has never cared. When Aaron got married, Eddie was his best man and he was truly overjoyed for him. He even shed a few tears, for pity’s sake.

Why is Buck any different?

The worst part is, people are starting to notice. It won’t be long before Buck does too, and Eddie will still have no explanation to give.

He feels awful about it.

“Hey,” Hen waves at him from her seat.

He was somewhat surprised by her text, asking to meet up in a coffee shop on their day off, just the two of them.

He is glad for it though, Christopher is at school and Eddie would have spent the day wallowing in his own misery otherwise.

They both get their orders – a matcha for him, a cold brew for her – and they spend a few minutes chit-chatting, catching up one each other’s lives outside the station.

Hen is such a great friend. Eddie is grateful to have her in his life.

“So,” she says intently when the conversation dies down a bit. “You know I didn’t ask you to meet up just to gossip.”

“You didn’t?” Eddie tries to joke. It falls flat.

“Let’s talk about Buck.”

Alright, so she won’t beat around the bush. He should have known, Hen is nothing but straight-forward.

“I’m sorry.”

He truly is, that’s the thing. He wishes he didn’t feel like that. He does not understand where it’s coming from, and he hates that he could hurt Buck because of it.

That’s the last thing he wants.

“What are you sorry about?”

He grunts, “I think I’m being homophobic. I hate that Buck is dating that guy – Pete.”

He can’t even bring himself to look at her.

“Look,” and she sighs. “I didn’t want to get involved because it’s not my business and there is stuff you need to figure out by yourself. But, this could impact our jobs, so I’ll help you out.”

He looks up. She is not making fun of him, her gaze is not insulted or angry. It’s – soft, almost.

“Thank you, Hen,” he says even if he isn’t quite sure what he is thanking her for.

She drinks a sip of her drink, visibly bracing herself for what she is about to say.

“There’s two way this conversation can go. One, I give you clues and you figure it out, and then you freak out. Two, I tell you why you’re acting like an ass, and then you freak out.”

There is no hesitation as he says, hurriedly, “Two. But I’m not gonna freak out.”

“Right.” She takes in a deep breath. “You’re not angry because Buck is dating a guy. You’re angry because he is not dating _you_. You’re jealous.”

Eddie blinks.

“What – no. I’m – no. What?”

Hen drapes her hands over his. Her smile is soft and patient, and it never stops even as Eddie does freak out. He feels like he is seconds away from a total mental breakdown.

He wants to protest, say that she is wrong. Eddie is straight. He has always dated women, has never been interested in men in either a romantic or sexual way.

And it’s not that he hid it from himself. He has questioned himself before, like most people do, and the answer has always been the same. He isn’t into guys.

He wants to say all that out loud.

Yet, every time he opens his mouth to do just that, he can’t force the words out.

Because Hen is right.

Somewhere along the way, Eddie has fallen for his best friend. He is utterly, madly in love with him.

“Oh, God. I’m in love with Buck.”

“There it is,” she says gently.

“But I’ve never – ”

“It’s okay,” she cuts, without heat. “Sexuality is fluid, you know. It’s fine if Buck is the only man you’ll ever have feelings for, or if there has been others but you never knew. Bisexuality isn’t a fifty fifty deal. You can mostly be attracted to women and still, be bi. Or vice versa.”

Eddie does not know what to say. His whole perception of himself has shifted. He tries to think back on any man he felt a closed connection with, but he has never felt this way for another man but Buck.

“But,” she continues, “you don’t have to put a label on it either – now or ever if you don’t want to. It’s all fine.”

He takes a moment to digest what she just said. He feels his panic recede.

Hen is right. It’s fine. It’s okay. He will figure it out, he does not have to do it just now.

“What do I do?” he asks, feeling lost. “Buck is dating Pete now. I’m not about to be a homewrecker.”

She laughs, though it’s not at him.

“This isn’t that kind of situation. They’ve only been seeing each other for like, what, two weeks at best? I’d say Buck deserves to know, but I also know you’ve just figured it out, and that’s fine if you’re not ready to tell him just yet. Though, you should know that if you wait too long, you might miss out on your chance.”

Eddie’s mind is swirling.

“What if he doesn’t feel the same way? I don’t want to make things awkward.”

“Eddie. You know he does.”

Oh.

Eddie does know. He thinks, suddenly, that he has always known.

That’s why Buck is so at home at his place, why he’s such another parent to Christopher. How could he not see that they have been co-parenting Christopher for months now? Eddie’s flat feels empty when Buck isn’t there, and Buck is always there.

Buck picks Christopher from school. He goes grocery shopping with them. He is there for them every single day in so many different ways.

Oh.

_I really admire that kid._

_I thought she could help you figure out how to get what Christopher needs._

_Buck gave me a heads up. I already cleared it with the chief._

_I just want you to talk to me._

_I’m sorry I wasn’t there._

Oh.

Buck knows it too. Buck loves him too.

Eddie just needs to catch up.

He stands up, almost stumbles with the force of it. Hen laughs.

“Thank you, Hen. I – I gotta go.”

“Go get your man.”

  
  


* * *

  
  


There is a part of him that tells him he has no right to be as relieved when Buck answers after the first ring and tells him he’s free to hang.

Eddie is feeling so many emotions at once, it’s hard to discern them.

He knows he feels anxiousness, but also trepidation.

More than anything though, he feels love. He is so in love with Buck. How did he not see it until now?

It all makes sense.

Buck opens his door. He’s already wearing a bright sunny smile. Eddie could kiss him.

“Hi,” Eddie breathes out, in awe.

 _This is the love of my life_ , he thinks – surprised by his own thought for the shortest of time. But it’s true, he can’t deny it any longer.

“Come on in,” Buck says, still smiling but looking a bit confused. “Everything okay? You sounded weird on the phone.”

“Yes. Everything is good.”

Eddie can’t help it. He knows he is staring at Buck with the biggest moon eyes in the history of the world. Who could blame him though?

“You want to talk about it?”

Buck’s eyes are soft and they never leave Eddie. How has he been so blind? Every single atom in Buck’s body is screaming _I love you_.

Eddie takes a step forward. So does Buck. They are so close, still standing in the hallway, that Eddie could count Buck’s eyelashes. He feels his breath on him, the warmth of his body, so close to his.

Buck is still looking at him with the same soft patient expression. Eddie has no more doubt, no more hesitation. Buck loves him, Buck has been waiting for him.

And there he is.

This it is. Eddie is about to reveal his reason for coming, confessing everything, baring his heart out. This is happening.

Except. Buck’s phone rings with a text notification.

Their little bubble bursts.

“It’s Pete,” Buck says.

If Eddie has any doubt left, it’s gone in that moment. What he is feeling is, without doubt, is jealousy.

It’s ugly, and it’s burning, and it’s _jealousy_.

“Pete, huh.”

Buck frowns. “Yeah. Pete.”

“I don’t like him.”

“Big shocker,” Buck retorts, irritated. “Why the hell do you hate him so much? You don’t even know him.”

“He’s not good enough for you,” Eddie spats.

Damn, why does his temper always get the better of him? Why can’t he use his works like a normal human being instead of always jumping to being angry?

“Okay, I’m done. You keep saying this whole angry thing isn’t about Pete being a guy, but I can’t see any other reason so you better get to talking right now or so help me I will – ”

“I don’t like him because he’s not me.”

Buck halts, expressions on his face changing so fast Eddie can’t read them.

“What are you saying?” Buck asks, voice tight, eyes wide.

No more bullshit. No more anger. Just out with it.

“I’m in love with you.”

Time stops.

It’s only the two of them, in Buck’s kitchen. They can hear sirens in the distance, the sounds of LA outside – none of it matters.

It’s just them.

Them and Eddie’s confession.

And Buck’s silence.

“Look,” Eddie says, rushing the words out because he is afraid, afraid he read everything wrong, afraid he is to late. “I didn’t know, I didn’t see it until today, Hen talked some sense into me because I thought I was being a bigot but it turns out I don’t care that you’re kissing a guy as long as that guy is _me_.”

Buck is still stunned, mouth agape as he stares at Eddie.

And then.

Then his whole face morphs into the biggest smile Eddie has ever seen on his face. His eyes shine a little too bright.

“I’m in love with you too.”

“Yeah?” Eddie says, overwhelmed with happiness.

“Yeah.”

Neither move.

“Can I kiss you?” Buck asks, so very softly.

Eddie wants nothing more than that, but he has to ask. He can’t be that person.

“What about Pete?”

Buck shakes his head, “We’re not dating. We saw each other a couple times but we both agreed we’re better off as friends.”

“But – ” Eddie frowns. “You said you were dating?”

“I never said that. We’re just friends. Now can I kiss you or do you want to keep talking about Pete?”

“Fuck you,” Eddie replies with a laugh.

Kissing Buck feels like coming home after a long day. It’s the feeling of the sun on his skin, it’s everything he has ever searched for.

He could spend his entire life kissing Buck.

He can’t believe how stupid he has been. How long could they have been doing that?

“We need to send a gift to Hen,” Eddie says when they part.

“What?”

Buck looks dazed, lips reddened, hair messy where Eddie has passed his hands through it. The urge to kiss him again is strong. He does not resist it.

They will pick a gift for Hen later on.

For now, all that Eddie wants to do is kiss the love of his life senseless, and he will do just that, because he can.

Later too, he will think about where to take Buck on a proper first date, how to break the news to Christopher.

He will think about asking Buck to move in, and one day along the line, to marry him.

But right now, Eddie only exists in the moment, with Buck’s lips on his own, Buck in his arms.

Everything makes sense. Everything is in the right order.

Eddie is in love with Buck, and Buck is in love with him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> I wasn't going to, but it's somewhat inspired by an old reddit post that was circulating around tumblr a while ago where a guys worries he is being homophobic because his roomate is seeing other guys, but it turns out he was just jealous and they got together.
> 
> I hope you liked this!! Please leave a comment if you did haha


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